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Monday, December 24, 2012

YES! It's been a year and more since I last wrote on my blog, but cyberspace is good to us all, and in almost 2013, my blog is still here! I left you last with dolls, dolls, dolls. A personal problem interrupted the flow, and the doll blog ceased. However, never one to be held under water, a new adventure has come a float!
Even though dolls were always #1 as I grew up... in my later years...let's call it the Fall of my life, I fell traps, bee bees and gun shots for squirrels. Ohhhh, their beady little eyes and back button noses! Squirrels always have equivocal on their faces. "What are you looking at now? Where are you going now? Are you looking at me? Do you have any bird seed now? I'm not sitting on the feeder, is it yours anyway? Why are you looking at me? Isn't this my tree? Is this your tree? Is this your bird seed or mine? I didn't climb on this bird feeder, is it yours anyway?"
So, to make a long story short....I always envisioned opening up a squirrel museum. After all, we are one of the black squirrel capitols of the world! (Please don't google that.)
 AS luck would have it, I was out on a date with myself last Sunday afternoon, happened into a junk shop, and there....beholden to my unbelievable eyes....should be SQUIRREL TAXIDERMY...ripe for the pickin!
I bought them all, set them up in my humble dining room, and learned right quick that these here squirrels were just what the erstwhile blogger wanted; new squirrel meat! That is, the answer to a small town entertainment block: Roselyn and Her Inner City Squirrel Button Fly's!
( not to be compared to the Squirrel Nut Zippers). 5 squirrel Entertainment....and yes, folks, all dressed for the holidays.

Meet Roslyn ( singer),  and her life-long neighbor, Elwood (xylophone)~

Rosey's brother Biff, (keyboards)~

Their cousin once removed, Scrappy, ( stand up bass)~

And... Mai Tai, ( on ukulele)~
Woah, Mai Tai...lay off the Santa beard sauce!! heh heh

Yes folks, the  2nd generation 5 swingin' squirrels will deliver a walloping punch to your musical festivities! But for now, they are content to lay low up on the Dutmer's buffet to celebrate holiday blessings that they didn't end up REALLY on the Dutmer's buffet menu, and they look forward to yours and their, new year adventures!


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

On to the new

2011 almost at a close, and I am on to new adventures. So sorry, for those who eagerly awaited the doll blog daily, ( cough, cough), that it came to an untimely end. That's the way the cookie crumbles. I am now onto a social study. I have recently gotten involved in Pinterest, on the World Wide Web. I am now going to post a painting of mine to see how many times it gets re-pinned on the sight.
Here is the painting, "Trixie, The Tattooed Lady."
 And now....I am pinning her. Happy New year!

Friday, August 12, 2011

The Breakup

Harlequin White and Clowny had a break up......

...quite literally.

All the King's horses and all the King's men, couldn't put their lives back together again.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Vogue Doll

Well, lookey who's back on the blog... Me.... and a new doll! She is a quirky sort, to say the least. You would think from her stature and pudge that she would be a baby doll, but how could you call this the face of a baby?

Note: pouty red lips, luxurious lashes and nappy hair.

Yet, being an official Vogue Doll, as you can perhaps read on her tag, she has to have been in style, fashionable, trendy.

I decided she was way beyond her years, and the proof was in the pudding. I caught her watching Madonna Vogue clips on my computer.

I also caught her in our wine cabinet....

...and sneaking out for a cigarette!

Oh naughty naughty baby Vogue Babe!
Of course, what else can we expect from a doll who can wet herself from her derriere?

VOGUE!   Vogue...     Vogue....

Friday, July 29, 2011

Doll Inventory

My original plan for Dutmer's Doll-A-Day, was to spend a year introducing all the dolls in Granny's doll cabinet. A year of dedication and imagination. (I hadn't even seen Julie & Julia then.) The idea was to clean out the cabinet (deemed scary by my daughter), weed out the undesirables, and possibly reacquaint myself with my Mother's, (aka Granny's), doll seeking travels and journeys. I had been a doll lover since I was a wee one, and I was not allowed to 'touch' the dolls in the cabinet. I can remember hours staring into the cabinet, and perhaps even back then, I created stories about the doll lives.

This past 7 months of doll blogging has dusted off parts of my imagination that had begun to rust. I have enjoyed dissecting each doll, and giving them a long awaited personality; but at the same time, the process, at times, has been challenging, frustrating, boring and exhausting.

Now, as I do inventory, this motley crew of dolls is all I have left to write about.
I still have 5 months, 1 day, 9 hours and 8 minutes left of my year's journey. I highly doubt this rag-tag assortment holds enough POW to keep the readers attention.

So, in leu of this predicament, Dutmer's Doll-A-Day may have it's life cut short. If the inevitable happens,
a. the dueling baby Jesus's will show up before Christmas,
b. my husband will be at long last relieved his harpy wife will no longer be a frustrated lump, worrying about the next day's bog,
c. I can get on with my book publishing attempts, so that you will ALL  
have the chance to place Dutmer's Doll-A-Day on your coffee table!
For now, since I still have a little more fire in me ( and a few good dolls), 
 the bog lives on!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Let's Hear It For the Boobs!

There have been blogs about blondes, shoes, hats and food. Now it's time to glorify the almighty BUST!  After all, many musical composers did just that!

"June is busting out all over! All over the meadows and the lanes."

"Tits and Ass, bought myself a fancy pair... tightened up the derriere.
Did the nose with it, all that goes with it."

"I'm gonna be a celebrity, that means somebody everyone knows.
There gonna recognize my eyes, my hair my teeth my boobs my nose."

"It's what's upfront that counts, baby."

"The neck bone's connected to the shoulder bone. The shoulder bone's connected to the breast bone...."

"When the red red Robin goes bob bob bobbin along."

Knockers, hooters, gagas, jugs. Bon Bons, boulders, cantaloupes, bulbs.

Fried eggs, hand warmers, honkers and mams. Marangos, melons, tatas and glands.

WAIT A MINUTE! That's Granny over! This is sick and wrong......

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


You've no doubt heard of Tiger Lily~

And surely you know Easter Lily's~
surrounded by bunnies, lambs and chicks.

Then of course there's "High Lily high Lily Hi Lo," the song from Carnival!

How about "Consider the Lily's of the field?"

Here's one more Lily to add to the group. She is Lily, Queen of the Day Lily's. 

Lily is a pudgy little doll from Germany with the year 1936 written on her leg in pencil.
Lily has declared herself the Lady Over All Lily's and who am I to argue? 

If she thinks she's a queen, alright...she's a queen.....

considering her fists are primed to plant one on my nose.

Hail Queen Lily! 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Clowny Goes Home

Clowny [blogs 1/12/11 and 1/20/11], was in sad shape. After years of traveling on the road with the Flying Gorgonzola Brothers, he was a down trodden clown. He was broken, beaten, worn out and just plain pooped. So, he decided to sojourn on a quest to discover his roots. His mission brought him to Baraboo, home of the
  World's Largest Clown Museum
in the world!

As soon as he entered, he knew he had come home at long last. Upon arrival, he was met at the entrance by his old Uncle Milky. Milky adored Milky Ways, strawberry and chocolate milk, and sometimes Milky Ways in his strawberry or chocolate milk, so what better way to honor his memory, than a portrait on milk glass.

Next, he visited the room of extraordinary feats, and hanging above the Twisted Pretzel Clown's portrait, was a painting of his Grandfather, Grampy Zany. GZ, as they called him, could play the harmonica and keep 6 balls in the air, while juggling 3 flat tires with one leg. Not only that, his pants would raise and drop at scheduled intervals while explosions of confetti burst out of his hat. 

Clowny did his best to emulate him, but he never quite had the wag or dexterity needed for his exceptional feats.  

In room three, he discovered dear old Uncle Bumbleshoots. He was one class act. After having both of his legs broken in a runaway circus stampede, it didn't impede his rise to clown~dom. His buddy with the prancing horses, lent him a ball, and Bumbleshoots invented the one and only
 Rolling Rubber Legs Clown Brigade!   

His display was so popular, the museum had a commemorative band playing there 24/7. Clowny sat in with them for a spell, but then he moved on in search of the real reason he had come.

At long last, he found what he was searching for. In room 25, there was portrait of his dear old Ma Maw.
She used to ride the bareback horses, and tumble to and fro off of their backs onto Uncle Bumbleshoots, and back onto the horses. Clowny adored his Mother. She was the most beautiful clown in all of the circuses far and wide. 
Unfortunately, she met her fate one sad rainy day in front of a measly 30 person turn out at the Big Time Chautauqua. As she somersaulted off Rosey Girl, the favored pony, Thunder hooves, the world's largest shetland discovered Rosey's heat. He plowed over Clowny's poor Ma Maw to make beautiful ponies together with Rosie, right there in the center ring! I tell ya, it was not a pretty sight.
Clowny, only 5 years old, was doing his tumbling act in Ring 3 with Sasha and her bouncing ShiTzus. He witnessed the whole thing.

A sad memory for Clowny this day at the 
World's Largest Clown Museum,
so he pressed on to room 501.

There, in a corner, under a string of cobwebs, clowny discovered, his Poppy. 

Long forgotten, Clowny's Dad, Mr. Zippy, was once adored by all. He was a sentimental clown; one who adored children of all ages. They would flock to him to bounce on his knee. Clowny bounced on that knee many a time, but after the death of his wife combined with stock crash of 1929, Mr. Zippy disappeared into oblivion. Clowny ever saw him again.
It was rumored he took off with Trixie the Tatooed Lady to start a commune in Connecticut.

Anyway, Clowny was at long last satisfied that he had touched base with his relatives, as sad as the recollections may have been. 
We all need to go home once in a while, even if home lies in our fragile memories.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Show Girl's New Gig

Show Girl is back on the boards in a new gig! She teamed up with the cast of Chicago's Gangster Follies one afternoon as they were rehearsing their big feather bump and grind number.

Show Girl became a huge hit with the cast, and they invited her to stay on for the bus and truck run starting September in Poughkeepsie, and ending in Lower Chemung's east side sometime late spring.

It just goes to prove the old adage, "A pretty girl is like a melody....."

"Now just hold on there Missy," whined Pretty Doll.

 "I am the pretty doll in the cabinet. My name, after all, is Pretty Doll! What makes YOU so special?"

Show Girl, having a tad more maturity plus the reassurance of her former mob connection bosses,
chose to walk away without a conflict.

And that's when Pretty Doll showed her ugliest side.

She took down Show Girl and the fight ensued!

Of course, Pretty Doll, having a good size more weight on her than Show Girl, immediately got the upper hand. After all, a PRETTY Show Girl, watches her petite figure incase there's call for a topless parade.

(I knew that would end the fight.)
 Pretty Doll got up to go purge the bacon and egg MacDuffin she ate for breakfast. 
Show girl went back to rehearsal.

"...she's like a melody that haunts you night and day...."